Don't ask people what they do for a living. Who gives a shit? What insight will that give you? What are the odds that what they do all day is something they really want to talk about?
It's only helpful to know if they have a particularly low or high status job, so you can know if you should be imperious or obsequious to them. So basically, only if you are a spineless/arrogant noodnik.
Instead, ask them what they do for fun. They'll like talking about it, it'll tell you something significant about them, you can learn about something interesting. And if they have no real answer, you'll know that they're boring and can safely leave them alone.
On the off chance that they do love some activity that they also earn money from, they may mention it.
Nusquam Tacere
4 comments:
I hate it when people ask me that because it means I have to reveal that I am boring.
I think that's a little hard on yourself. But even if it's true, it seems like a pretty easy thing to fix? Or is that just my cool-person bigotry talking?
Is it better for a person to do things that other people find interesting solely for the sake of appearing interesting when they would much rather do something they find interesting that seems/is boring to others? I can see my way to saying yes to that, and do that sometimes already, but I'm not sure yet. For instance, I like reading and playing single-player video games and do that most often "for fun". I also enjoy talking to people or cooking, and consider those fun, but I don't DO them as often as I do things I find fun but are generally boring for other people. A perhaps more accurate (though likely needlessly so, since I might be an outlier here) phrasing should be, "what things do you find fun that involve other people?" Given the objective "spend as much time as possible around extroverted people who actively pursue things that are fun for other people to be involved in doing", then I think the question works perfectly. I just wanted to speak up for the introvert/cat mentality since the focus seemed to be on the extrovert/dog mentality.
Also, it's hard to be cool or interesting when one, say, works many hours (has two jobs, etc.), so it could be called discriminatory to the lower-income strata. Then again, it's not discriminatory per se, in that criteria is "fun to be around", not "not poor people". There's just a correlation there. People who work a lot are, I'll go out on a limb, probably not as fun to be around as people who don't.
You'd be surprised at how many people also play videogames. I think that there are solitary activities which are fun to discuss, and that discussion can lead to hanging out with people more.
But yes, do more things that involve hanging out with people and you'll live longer.
As far as people obliged to work long hours, I think that "I wish I had more time to do X," or "I used to do X," would count.
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